Missing in Action

I have been missing in action for about three and a half years.  My life has completely changed, and I look forward to sharing my newest works with you all!  Stay tuned!!

Rehab Program for Perfection?

I recently underwent a major surgery.  Have no fear – I am fine and have no residual medical issues except my ever so slow recovery.  During my LONG time sitting at home I did some personal reflection.  You know, that examine yourself, inner peace crap….yeah.  I read a lot of books.  When I returned to work I had a revelation.  All the books I read discussed perfectionism, letting perfectionism go, and feeling good about it.

Holy crap, right?  I already knew I was a perfectionist, but I really had no idea the effect it had on my life.  For example, I can never complete a project unless I know I did it correctly and to the best of my ability.  So what happens?  My projects never gets completed and they feel utterly overwhelming to me!  For example, I have a love/hate relationship with myself when I purchase a new journal.  Part of me is so excited to write and write in it, and the other side of me does not want to mess it up….how do I solve that problem?  I bought Keri Smith’s journal “Wreck This Journal.”  Needless to say…..I still haven ‘t had the courage to mess it up even with permission from the author.

How does one let perfectionism go when it has been a part of their life for so long?  I am guessing that I am not the only person who struggles with this issue since there seems to be a number of books related to the topic on the market.  Do you know how much work it is for a perfectionist to not be perfect?  A LOT!

I am sure you are wondering what “steps,” (totally therapist terminology – blah), I am taking to work through this.  One major change I have undergone is realizing that you can’t make everyone happy.  If you work so hard at making other people happy you will become stressed out, frazzled, and sad.  Saying “no” and prioritizing my life have also been a big change I implemented.  Identifying what is important to ME in my life is another major adjustment I have made.

I still have a long way to go to move out of my perfectionist thinking patterns (therapist term again – sorry).  The most important part of releasing the perfectionism to identifying it.  It’s there – everyday, and I have to consciously work on it – much like a person who is quitting smoking.

Now that I wrote this blog on perfectionism I am feeling a little stressed about posting it because of what people will think because it might not be perfect- well guess what – I don’t care….I am not even going to proof read it…yep – embracing the imperfections…..

References

www.kerismith.com

My first visit to Target after my surgery....far from perfection...but having a great time!

My first visit to Target after my surgery….far from perfection…but having a great time!

 

Textiquette

Technology moves so fast.  A trend I have noticed related to the increase in technology is a reduction in communication and social skills among society.  People are choosing to e-mail, Facebook, or text versus making a phone call.  I will admit, I tend to text rather than making a phone call.  Texting takes less time (which we all know is valuable) and avoids an off-topic conversation…but there is a huge loss in personal connection.  Does this lead to less intimate relationships?  I think so, but that is a whole different topic.  My issue is the social skills related to texting…..

I have a number of friends who text versus making a phone call.  I am completely fine with this.  What I am a not fine with is a lack of social etiquette while texting….what I call textiquette.  Think of it like this; when you are in the middle of a phone conversation your don’t just hang up.  How many times have you been texting someone and they just stop texting, don’t indicate they are done with the conversation, and you may or may not hear from them again for another week?  I am sorry my friends, but I have a few of you that do that to me….on a regular basis.  A simple “ttyl,” “brb,” or “:)” would suffice the end of a conversation, but to drop off and not text back is not good social skills.  I would not even care if you told me to stop texting!  We all know there is a natural ending to a conversation – this is not what I am talking about.  I am talking about when one person asks a question or a flow of conversation is going and BAM!  Gone.  Done.  No indication of the end of conversation.  An “eoc” (end of conversation) would be fine with me.  Anything to indicate we are done texting.

This idea of textiquette leads to my other thought about texting…if we just continuously communicate only via electronic means we are not stimulating our social skills.  If we can’t follow basic textiquette when we are communicating electronically, then chances are we can’t follow basic social etiquette.  I think about the wonderful adolescents taking my orders at a restaurant (seriously – our future – and I am raising one right now).  When I engage in basic social etiquette it is often not reciprocated.  I get the blank stare (you all know exactly what I am talking about).  We have to encourage our children to engage in social interactions, teach them how to engage, and find a balance between technology and personal connection.  We have to practice what we preach.  Next time you are texting think about textiquette.  Are you practicing it or are your social skills lacking in that area?  How is your lack of textiquette carrying over into real life?

Finding Balance

I have been working extremely hard at school.  As most of you know I am working toward earning my Doctorate degree and it has been beyond mentally draining!  As part of the program I have to write a dissertation.  Most students struggle with developing a dissertation idea and have a hard time even getting going on the research for their dissertation.  Not me.  I have a zillion ideas and I could explode!  However, while I was printing a number of previous research articles (I know it is not eco-friendly, but I am so old-school with some things) I realized that I was not honoring myself.  You see, the concept I have for my dissertation is related to creativity and the work place.  Sounds fascinating, right?  As I watched my printer print the word “creativity” over and over again I had this ephiny…I was not honoring my creative instincts.

At some point this past winter I lost myself in the winter blues – which was a long period of time since it was an extremely long winter in the North.  I moved throughout a day doing what was expected of me; completing my housework, schoolwork, and loving my family.  Notice how I didn’t mention taking care of my creative me?  I had no balance.

I have discovered that life is about balance.  Too much of something is never good.  Whatever you have too much of you eventually become tired of.  It was like my Special K bar kick last summer.  I loved those things.  I got into the habit of eating one everyday…now I can’t stand the sight of them!  I had TOO MUCH!  I believe balance is one of the most important pieces to living playfully and peacefully.  Honoring all parts of yourself and caring for each one creates balance.  Sometimes one part of you might need a little more attention than another part.  Give that part of you what it needs.  Don’t question or hesitate.  Honor and balance.  Live playfully and peacefully each day!

A relaxing night on the patio.  Creating a little balance in my life!

A relaxing night on the patio. Creating a little balance in my life!

Mind Blown

I have not written a blog post forever – ok not forever, but it has been since February.  I am sure you all wonder where I went.  As you all know I am working on my Doctorate degree.  The months of February and March were a test of my true desire to earn my Doctorate.  I spent an unrealistic amount of time studying philosophy…at a Doctoral level.  Needless to say my mind was blown!

Those of you who are right-brained thinkers, like myself, imagine trying to read, interpret, and write scholarly papers about ancient philosophers.  My creativity was completely shut-off, which I didn’t know could happen!  (If you ever have too many creative ideas I highly recommend reading philosophy…it will stop all creativity in it’s tracks)!  I had a break from classes last week, and it was amazing how my brain began firing off new, creative ideas.  Be prepared for fun, new blog posts to come!

How I think....

How I think….

Judgments & Journeys

I was having lunch with a friend the other day when she made a comment about society being highly “judgmental.”  In the context of this conversation she was referring to being judged for her tattoos and piercings.  I have continued to think about this statement for the past couple of days, and I have to agree with her.  Why are we such a judgmental society?  Who are we to judge other people when we don’t know the story of their journey?

Her comment about judgments resonated with because of an experience I had a couple of weeks ago.  I attended a class for my Doctoral program.  When I entered the room I immediately became aware of the fact that I was clearly the youngest person in the room, I had visible tattoos and body piercings, and I was wearing the most casual clothing (which was permitted) in the classroom.  What really stuck out for me was a couple of hours after class started and I looked around the room – everyone sat with their black laptops, black Ipads, and black roller-bags….and I sat with my bright pink laptop, pink Ipad, and zebra print bag.  I could literally feel the judgment from the other students, but I thought to myself “I have worked my butt off, I am a successful business woman at a young age, I DESERVE to be here as much as they do, and I choose not to conform.”  By the end of the five-day class the group had bonded, judgments had passed, and I remained unchanged.

The moral of the story is we need to stop and think people as people – not stereotypes or judgments.  We need to look beyond the piercings, tattoos, age, hairstyle, clothing, etc. and see the person in front of us.  Just because other people may not “conform” to what is acceptable does not mean they are “bad” – they are just fabulously unique!

By the way – after my friend and I finished lunch we went and got more body piercings!  We are who we are!

Source: http://www.xanga.com/private/lindseynicole561/subsmain.aspx

Source: http://www.xanga.com/private/lindseynicole561/subsmain.aspx

Magical Me Makeover Day 7 – Reflections

I have asked you all the questions for the Magical Me Makeover, and now it is time for some reflection.  Go back and review how you answered each of the questions for the Magical Me Makeover.  Are there any themes among your answers?  What is similar in your answers?  Different?  What does this mean to you?

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Magical Me Makeover Day 6 Questions

Today we are digging a little deeper into ourselves…I want you to explore your inner child.  What does your inner child look like?  What is his/her name?  What does your inner child like to eat?  Hobbies?  How does your inner child feel?  What makes your inner child scared?  Angry? Sad?  Happy?  What does your inner child fear the most?  What does your inner child daydream about?  What does your inner child want to be when he/she grows up?

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My Favorite Superhero/Villain

I am not a big fan of superheros or villains.  My children, however, love them.  I have always been drawn to one character, a villain, Poison Ivy.  Poison Ivy has always had a mysterious way about her.  She is sexy, seductive, and an eco-terrorist.  She uses natural resources versus manufactured items as her weapon.  At one point, Poison Ivy creates a beautiful island full of botanical plants, and plans to live there is happiness until it is destroyed.

Poison Ivy strikes me as a villain who is looking for something in her life, but continues to fail at finding it.  When she does, it is destroyed, indicating she is doomed to fail.  She continues to fight back, and never gives up.  Poison Ivy is often betrayed by her “friends,” but continues to care for them (by not killing Harley Quinn).

Interestingly enough, Poison Ivy was created by her professor, named Jason (my hubby’s name), and she is best friends with villain, Harley Quinn (Harley is my daughter’s name).  That is strictly coincidence and not planned on my part.

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Magical Me Makeover Day 5

Day 5 of the Magical Me Makeover is here!  So the question today is who is your favorite superhero or villain?  What draws you to him/her?  What qualities do he/she have that you like?  What is his/her weakness?  Where does he/she go to relax?  If you had your hero’s or villain’s powers for one day what would you do with it?

Is that Superman or Captain America?

Is that Superman or Captain America?